Every year as part of the Thanksgiving tradition in our family, we go see a movie. If we are with our extended family, then Chris and I get to enjoy an movie alone; if not, then we take the kids. Since no one came to see us and we didn't travel, we decided to go see Bolt. Gabi however was dying to see Twilight. She read the book (on my sister's assurance that it was fine) and we have a policy that (for the most part) you can see the movie once you have read the book. I agreed to take her if she would buy my ticket, since I had absolutely no interest in seeing it. Chris took the other two to Bolt, which they thought was great, but I won't review because I did not go.
I enjoy vampire stories, be they horror or romance, so this plot had a decent chance of appealing to me. Gabi has read books one and two and thought she would die if she could not see the movie because her friends had all seen it. While I do not encourage the indulgence of peer pressure, she had already fulfilled the family requirements to see it and I was not hot to see Bolt.
WARNING: Spoilers ahead!
Twilight has to be one of the worst movies that I have seen in a long time. Let's start with a review of the actors. The acting was horrible. ALL the lines were delivered in a monotone by EVERY character. Bella could not act her way out of a box. Edward's acting consisted of smoldering looks. Everyone else was barely seen. Gabi came out and asked who I thought did the best job acting and I answered some extras in the restaurant that did not have speaking parts. It was that bad. The only time a line was delivered with any emotion was when Bella was begging him not to leave her. For that scene, she was a stuttering fool.
I will commend Twilight on keeping a solid PG-13 rating. Bella and Edward share two kisses, with him pulling back both times. These were both very clean kisses. There is one scene where it appears that they will consummate their love. They begin making out with Bella in a t-shirt and underwear. They fall to her bed and after a minute, Edward throws himself back against the wall to regain control. This is not any worse than any 12-year-old kid has seen in other contexts and it sets a good message about self-control, although it is odd that Edward is the one to pull back, but more on that later. The violence is also handled in a superior fashion. Almost all of the human attacks are insinuated with the approach shown and then the camera cuts to the next scene. Two exceptions are: when Bella dreams of Edward turning her, you see him with blood on his mouth where he has bitten her neck and she is in a sexy dress in the classic victim pose; also when Jake is caught and they are killing him, Alice is shown breaking his neck. The camera pulls back as the fire grows and the other Cullens are holding Jake preparing to rip him apart.
On to story issues... I read Stephen King, so horror is a familiar genre and I also enjoy Shannon Drake's vampire romance novels. I would guess that Twilight is a teen version of Drake's novels. My sister said it was appropriate if I had no problem with Gabi reading about vampires, werewolves, etc. She has always liked the fantasy genre and my sister tries to read only happy ending books (with happiness and little conflict all throughout if possible). I found several issues with vampire lore, like the fact that they glitter in direct sunlight. Everything I have ever read says no effect to burning from direct sunlight. Edward also had mind-reading abilities, which I can buy with other vampire traits. Yet Alice could see visions of the future, which I have never encountered abilities like these. This seems almost like trying to cash in on "Heroes" popularity with various powers. I also did not like the fact that they never ate or slept. It makes them stick out. Most vampires look to pass for human, so they will eat even though it provides them little to no sustenance. Yet he sits there and orders her a meal and eats nothing. Fitting in? I think not. No other vampire I have read about has ever not needed sleep. It serves a restorative purpose in vampires as well. Meyers seems to have overhyped vampires and not done research on the lore, but just chose "cool" characteristics.
But the biggest problem I had was the sexuality of the vampires, in that it was so well controlled. Edward alludes to the fact that vampires are sexual beings in all aspects from his looks to his abilities, but he seems to struggle very little with controlling that sexuality. Vampires from Dracula to modern incarnations are hypersexual. I understand that Meyers made the Cullens an atypical family (yet Drake has these too and manages to keep traditional accepted vampire characteristics), but stripping it away almost completely seems to defy that he is truly a vampire that has been around for nearly a century. Maybe it was Edward's lack of acting ability that failed to convey the struggle, but it very well could have been the writing as well, because it is hard to believe that a teenage boy is going to control himself so effectively when a girl throws herself repeatedly at him, much less a vampire.
It was also extremely annoying that Bella falls into the helpless category without any struggle. Drake provides strong female characters which are drawn to strong male counterparts. Yet Bella can do nothing in her own defense, not even come up with a viable plan. At one point, she says "Let's pretend I'm not smart..." Um, Bella there is no pretending here, you are the classic screaming girl in a horror movie running right into danger. Luckily she has an unworldly savior that spies on her at all times and comes to the rescue whenever she needs him. She also wants to do whatever it takes to be with Edward. This does not sound like the basis for a healthy relationship. Edward, ironically, is the voice of reason and moral compass for the relationship.
It was really disappointing that not even Gabi enjoyed the movie, a middle school girl that loves the books and was so hyped to see it. She hates when movies don't stick to the story and she pointed out several scenes that were cut (to which I was oblivious since I didn't read the book). We did use the movie to discuss several relevant issues that were present. It also taught her that her friends' were not always right in their estimations of good movies. She severely felt the pain since she had to buy the tickets and Bolt apparently turned out to be so good. Well, at least we got something good out of it.
Grade: F